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GOd dammit. About the fifth person this week who says to my father-in-law, while I'm in the room, "oh did you have a kid!? which was it?? Oh a boy! oh you're so lucky, finally a boy" (implying that it's good that he has a boy grandson because a boy can be heir to the company, a girl wouldn't be able to or would have to marry someone to take over with an arranged marriage). This is fucked on multiple levels, as you will surely agree. Juice and I have to ignore shit like this daily.

@mu Is it not possible that having a boy after a string of girls isn't a nice surprise in the same way that having a girl after a string of boys is a nice surprise?

@petit That is _possible_. But, people have directly told us that they are happy it's a boy because he'll be "跡取り息子". We decided he's a boy, he may not agree with that later. And third, if he's cool with being a boy he still has to choose to take over the company, but he'll have been pressured by his community his whole life by the time he reaches the age to decide--he'll also have been pressured his whole life to be a boy and all that "boy" entails before understands he has a choice, too.

@mu I can't say I understand the Japanese very well, but it does seem presumptuous of them to say that. I don't see how he could choose not to be a boy anymore than he could choose his age, race, or species.

@petit well. People change their sex later or don't identify with the one their born as. Also I feel gender should be fluid, so he may like being a male but not being a boy, it's just not as simple as humans (who love are are successful because of pattern heuristics) make it out to be, I think. The same goes for age. I mean, certainly until you're in your twenties your brain is still making major cognitive changes (which likely evolved to prepare us for different stages of child rearing) --cont.

@petit but there is such a thing as ageism, and there is a lot of fludity to age. As for species, I think that's also becoming more and more fluid as we augment ourselves with technology and even start to edit our genome and the genomes of the species around us. You have to ask yourself what is the purpose of the pattern you are using (age, species, sex, etc) is the purpose relevant to your goals? It's really hard to do this in daily life as a human--reminds me of the DFW "this is water" speech.

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